Weblog
Thursday, 12 November 2009
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Had a very difficult week. Medical examination which was
, lost the legal battle, more bureaucracy (I now have a daughter- that's a whole new incredible story to add to the files), and feeling low. Old symptoms rear their ugly heads, and I basically feel like I'm in a pit I'll never get out of. I'm so tired I am on the verge of tears constantly. Of course, in the bigger picture I AM doing better, and I should keep my expectations low, but it's just hard. So basically today was self-pity day. Tomorrow is a new day. Let's hope it brings sunshine. B tells me there will be a pay-back day in the future. I am not going through all this for nothing.
I don't know. I just want to get well again. It's difficult to live on an empty tank.
Friday, 06 November 2009
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It's really interesting: the feedback on my new site.
Everyone seems to have their own favourites: some like the more personal writing more, some like the 'strictly' political stuff, and some love it all
Writing is about what the other person reads, in the end, and it feels good to get such positive feedback. It also gives me the thumbs up in whatever direction I want to take it. It is liked. That is good. (let's hope cash will follow).
Friday, 23 October 2009
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It's unbelievable. The moment the legal stuff is done and dealt with the next obstacle appears: another medical examination, to establish whether I am still considered disabled.... This system is a full-time job, and I wish there were an easy exit. If there were, I would be out of here in 5 seconds. Why don't they just LEAVE ME ALONE? Why do I have 10 people monitoring me, who KNOW I am not well, but still have to go through all the motions, so 10 more people can make life difficult for me? It's a nightmare this stupid system, I tell you.
Sometimes I am thinking I should ask everyone I know to donate a small amount monthly, to support me, so at least I can get out of the freakin system. But well, it's a lot to ask. Though I would be in a lot better hands.
Thursday, 22 October 2009
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I had a dream about a yogi teaching me endurance and how to handle setbacks. I ran into him in a food shop. He just stood there, relaxed but alert, like a tree, with the world whirlwinding around him. In the eye of the storm there is no storm. I cannot tell you how relieved I was he showed up. This man has something to teach me. I hope he will visit again. I need a teacher in Wisdom 101.
Thursday, 17 September 2009
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Not much time to write, because I am busy over here: http://amberjanecomments.wordpress.com
I am very happy with the site, and I'm trying out my commentary skills. It's fun!
Pretty happy days here- my energy is relatively steady, which means I get to write a bit in the morning, do yoga in the afternoon and cook a delicious meal in the evening! I know for most people it isn't much, but it is more than I have been able to do in years and I am HAPPY.
I notice I have already used the word happy three times, in four sentences, so yes that sum sit up.
And please, spread the news on my new site if you like what I wrote (if anyone reads here anymore
). It's in Dutch so that's a catch.Off to painting class...
